rev_marsh: (caliginous erivris comm icon)
[personal profile] rev_marsh posting in [community profile] hso2012_collabs1
Summary: AU where things go terribly wrong (SCP Universe)

Characters: Eridan Ampora, Vriska Serket, Kanaya Maryam, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde

Category One: Body Horror, mentions of Self-Harm or Suicidal Thoughts

Category Two: Character Dealth

Your name is CONTRIVED CIRCUMSTANCE, which you consider a beautiful but certainly meaningless name, and you have just installed the server copy of your Beta copy of STURB, a highly anticipated game that you had to go through a lot of trouble to get. You're pretty sure you're at a safe moment to think about continuing the chain since everything's been deployed in your home and your cruxtruder has a bit to go.

Your cruxtruder was surprisingly difficult to open and
you're glad to have your kernalsprite. You have long been anticipating the opportunity to bring back your dead caretaker. You tell your server player to apply the pickled corpse to your kernal but...wait a haven't seen your kernalsprite for nearly a full minute! How could you misplace a bright neon flashing orb? Where did it go? Last time you saw it it seemed to be near the--

You knew leaving your trans-dimensional sendificator set to random was a bad idea.

You sit morosely on your front step and cry. This is going to be the worst session ever. You might as well give up now and spend the rest of your empty, meaningless, useless days wondering where the fuck you might have accidentally sent that kernalsprite.



Object #
: SCP-612
Classification: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Object is to remain in a small titanium and [Data Expunged] chamber at all times. No foreign objects are to be introduced into its environment!
Description: A small glowing sphere of light with a strange sort of design in the centre. If binoculars are used to stare at the design, a scene emerges. It’s almost like the words are written in the brains of those who look at it, but said words disappear when the eye-lock is broken.
History: Object simply appeared in Facility [Data Expunged] one day, following around a D-Class in a manner that could almost be described as ‘cheerful’.

Incident: 11040-b
SCP involved: SCP-413, SCP-612
Personnel involved: Dr. Maryam, Dr. Strider, several security personnel
Date: 2011.04.13
Location: Facility 17
Description: Taken from Dr. Strider’s journal

Entry 3/12/11: I’ve just started working with this trunk, er, SCP-413. Took me half a year to get them to let me to look at this thing, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it. I mean, it’s fascinating! What are these weird liquid-y things? And they’ve said it ate a D-Class already! Hehe, that’s what they’re there for, D-Classes. To be expendable! Fwahahaha! Not that we tell them so, of course. Ruin their morale or some such shit like that.

Entry 3/24/11: I’m getting very, very curious about all this. Not that I’ll say so, of course, they’d yank me faster’n I could blink! But I haven’t seen it open once in all the time I’ve watched it... And the security footage showed the D-Class opening it. So much for autonomous movement...

Entry 4/1/11: I’ve got a new SCP tailing me around. Seems pretty happy just to bob in the air, and it’s as fascinated as a glowing sphere can be by the trunk. Heh. It’s kind of cute, actually. I don’t think I’ll tell the boss-man about it just yet.

Entry 4/8/11: The curiosity is killing me and Blinky both. Yeah, I named the new SCP. Got something against it? It looks dimmer all the time and is constantly staring at the trunk like it needs the damn thing to live. Ugh. Boss-man’s coming! Better go.

Entry 4/8/11, later: I can’t believe it! They took Blinky away, locked it up in that little tiny cage. Classified him. I’m off trunk duty and Blinky duty both! Don’t worry, little buddy. I’ll come and get you sooner or later, promise. Promise, promise, promise. And three’s the magic number.

Entry 4/13/11: Me and Blinky are going in. Infiltrated the room of the trunk. With Blinky on my side, nothing can go wrong! Fwahahahahaha!

Entry 4/13/11, later: I don’t believe it! The trunk just ate Blinky! This can’t be happening... it’s coming for me! Poor Blinky...

Entry 4/13/11, even later: The trunk just spat Blinky out. But it’s changed, my little friend has-- it’s some sort of abomination! ... The thing resembles a couple of those Euclids Dr. Crocker’s been studying, actually... Wonder if they got near the trunk? It’s possible.

Entry 4/13/11, latest: Blinky’s been taken away from me again. Or at least that abomination that I knew as Blinky has been. Calls itself Caag now, I think... Can’t say I mind. Hehe. Now there’s some sort of... of... I can’t think anymore. I don’t think I’ve been thinking clearly since I saw the trunk. What’s going on???? I hear something coming, an

[The journal abruptly terminates]



Object #: SCP-413
Classification: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The SCP is stationed in a small stone room with a [Data Expunged] door. Rank 3 authorisation or higher is needed to open the door after [Data Expunged] resulted in the death of a D-Class. Object is not to be moved under any circumstances.
Description: A seemingly ancient trunk made of some sort of battered wood and stained with rainbow colours in no discernable pattern. Generally, object is fairly quiescent, with a few odd noises coming from it at various intervals, but when its lid opens (which it does autonomously, though some certain stimuli such as the entrance of someone into the room or [Data Expunged] may factor in)… There appears to be a collection of dead bodies inside of it, along with some dismembered bits and some bottles full of strange colourful liquids. If the trunk is touched whilst open, it opens more widely and somehow sucks whatever touched it inside, to be spat out at a later date, most certainly dead. None of the presumably original bodies have been able to be removed, though [Data Expunged].

The rainbow spatters seem to be some sort of… [Data Expunged] blood? – Dr. Lalonde

Aww, come on. What harm can opening this thing do? I mean, it’s just a trunk! – [Data Expunged]

A Note To All Staff
Those With Curiosity Issues Are Not To Guard SCP-413
As The Above Incident Shows Curiosity Really Did Kill The D-Class – Dr. Maryam

Requesting permission to [Data Expunged] for purposes of [Data Expunged]. – Dr. Lalonde

Permission Denied – Dr. Mar[Data Expunged]

Addendum: 2011.04.[Data Expunged]- SCP-413 was involved in the [Data Expunged] Incident. Two of its [Data Expunged] were forcibly ejected into [Data Expunged], and combined with SCP-612 to create th[Data Expunged] SCP-413-612-J. All officers responsible for this mishap have been appropriately dealt with.


Object #: SCP-413-612-J
Classification: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Subject is to be kept in an 8 by 8 by 8 room with walls made of stone and a reinforced steel-titanium blend. A [Data Expunged] field is to be surrounding the room at all times to prevent the subject from managing to teleport from the room or move through said walls, with the [Data Expunged] doors merely there as a formality. The SCP is to be kept away from the ocean, blind people, chainsaws, or anything resembling such things, as it grows quite violent when exposed even to pictures of these things. At this date, subject has requested:
- 1 regular laptop computer with internet access [APPROVED WITH STANDARD LIMITATIONS]
- 1 barrel of laughs [DENIED; POSSIBLY JOKING]
- 1 barrel of fish [DENIED]
- 1 black widow spider [VERY MUCH DENIED]
- 1 set of dice [APPROVED; LATER REMOVED]
- 1 harpoon gun [DENIED]
- 2 sets of military history books [APPROVED]
- 1 journal [APPROVED]
It is currently unknown how it managed to turn the dice into a strangely deadly weapon.
If SCP-413-612 does manage to escape, it will not try to escape the facility itself (or so shown by the two prior incidents), instead going on an exceedingly violent rampage against any sentient beings in the facility. To re-capture it, [Data Expunged]—no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wwouldn’t wwant these ignorant officers knowwing somethin’ like that, noww wwould wwe? It’d ruin all the fun!

Description: SCP-413-612-J is a light-brown translucent humanoid sentient being approximately 1.8m. Superior to the approximate waistline, the subject's appearance is largely humanoid and well-defined, with a long mass of variegated hair; inferior to the waistline is a blurrier, decreasing taper of translucency akin to some 19th and early 20th depictions of ghosts. Notable deviations from human anatomy in the superior half include what look to be gill slits on the subject’s sides and neck, and two elaborate hornlike protrusions. These make up another 0.5m of height above the head, zig-zagging, with the left terminating in an upright crescent shape, the right in a barb; they occasionally seem to be entirely striped. Subject claims gill and horns are sensitive to the touch, although detailed physical interaction has not been established at this time due to the violent nature of the subject. It describes its species as 'Trolls' and itself as 'about 7 Sweeps old' and 'an abomination' (see note below.) There is significant psychological lability and notably remains on a nocturnal schedule.


The insubstantiality of the subject is similar to that of SCP- [Data Expunged], although it can interact with certain objects, including the computer provided for it. It prefers to communicate via a chat program called ‘Trollian’, which it requested researchers to acquire from dubious sources in order to communicate. The user ID used by the subject in this program is 'caligulasAquarium/arachnidsGrip', or more generally ‘CAAG’. 'Caag' has been adopted as the unofficial name for it, and it does answer to such.


It does not seem willing to speak with most [Data Expunged], but Dr. Maryam has managed to [Data Expunged], as have Dr. Lalonde and Dr. Crocker. If left in contact with any researcher for very long, SCP-413-612-J has been observed growing quite violent.


All conversations with the subject are to be conducted over chat client. All researchers wishing to communicate with SCP-413-612-J should contact Dr Maryam for permission and the latest list of subjects not to be discussed. Magic and magical items should never be discussed, in addition to items listed in SCP protocols above.


On frequent occasions, subject calls itself 'an abomination' and often expresses a wish to 'die and take all [Data Expunged]' with it. Alternately, it reveals significant narcissistic personality traits. On two notable incidents, it has had near successes by means of SCP-[Data Expunged].

Partial Transcript of a Conversation

Interviewed: SCP-413-612-J [CAAG]
Interviewer: Dr. Kanaya Maryam [GA]

Foreword: This is an example conversation using the Trollian client between Dr Maryam and Caag, in February of 2012.

Begin Log, 2012.02.05 0230
GA: Hello Caag
CAAG: Wwhat do you wwant nooooooooww????????
GA: Only To Speak With You
CAAG: Yeah, yeah, that’s wwhat they all say. Then there’s the needles and the other shit that apparently wwe shouldn’t 8e a8le to feel. Wwell, wwe can!
GA: You Refer To Yourself As Quote Mark We Quote Mark
GA: Why Is This
CAAG: Um, duuuuuuuuh? 8ecause wwe’re twwo people, you idiot!
GA: You Appear To Only Be One Entity
CAAG: And you appear to 8e a moron. Can’t you see wwe’re seper8? Uh, no wwe’re not, 8itch—just accept that you’re gonna 8e tied to me for all eternity!!!!!!!! Wway it wwas alwways fuckin’ meant to 8e, though I gotta admit this ain’t quite the wway I thought it’d go a8out…
GA: What My Apologies I Am Quite Confused Now
CAAG: There’s twwo a us. Combined into one a us. Wwe died an’ I ain’t got a clue wwhat happened until all a sudden I wwas here wwith this fucktard.
GA: So You Are Saying You Came Back To Life As A Ghost
CAAG: Ain’t you got files on this shit?
GA: Id Rather Hear Your Take On All Of It Caag
CAAG: Wwell, I got no idea wwhat I did to 8e stuck in this sort a hell. I mean, eternity with douchefin? Uuuuuuuugh! I’d rather die.
CAAG: Oh, shut your face, 8itch.
CAAG: Wwe havve the same face noww! You shut yours instead!
GA: We Are Getting Off Topic Again
GA: Though Would I Be Correct In Assuming You Two Well Hate Each Other
CAAG: No fucking duh! Death wwould be wway better than this shitty afterlife! At least in the 8u88les wwe had our owwn bodies!
GA: If You Wish To Die Why Dont You
CAAG: Wwe ain’t goin’ nowwhere ‘til wwe take all you fuckers wwith us. It’s your fault in the first place anywway.
GA: How Is It My Fault
CAAG: Go fuck yourself wwith a rusty chainsaww, you deli8er8ly play-ignorant 8itch!
End Log, 2012.02.05, 0253

The Conversation Was Terminated At This Point As Subject Showed Signs Of Getting Er Restless But I Think It Is A Fascinating Discovery
Caag Seems To Be Treating The Two [Data Expunged] As Separate [Data Expunged]- Dr. Maryam 2012.02.05, 0255

For all my knowledge of languages, I cannot place several of the words the SCP uses. Does anyone know what a ‘kismessitude’ is? – Dr. Lalonde
2012.02.05, 0832

You are ordered to immediately stop referring to SCP-413-612-J as anything but [Data Expunged] for fear of [Data Expunged] as it provides [Data Expunged] and sympathetic tendencies. – [Data Expunged]
2012.02.05, 2102
You havve noooooooo right to cage this surely magnificent creature, no matter howw much of an a8omin8ion it is and that last part really wwasn’t necessary speak for yourself this wwas not meant to happen think I’m happy about it? Er, 8lah 8lah techno8a88le wwho cares I’m letting this 8itch out. – Dr. Maryam
2012.02.05, 2105

2012.02.05, 2110

I believe the subject has attempted to use such powers on me before, actually. I had wondered about the sudden narcolepsy, but other than falling asleep at strange intervals appear to be immune to SCP-413-612-J’s powers. Requesting permission to continue investigations and interviews. – Dr. Lalonde
2012.02.05, 2142

2012.02.05, 2145

A recent conversation reveals the subject believes Dr. Maryam and Dr. Pyrope were the two individuals responsible for its deaths. I recommend neither officer be let near it again. – Dr. Lalonde
2012.02.06, 0822

Go fuck yourself, Rosey :::;) Meanwwhile I’ll just 8e settin’ this a8omin8ion free. Again. Man, I havve a soft squishy pathetically wweaky wweak think pan!!!!!!!! – Dr. Vantas
2012.02.06, 2103

NOT AGAIN! – Dr. Vantas
2012.02.06, 2105

… ‘Rosey’? – Dr. Lalonde
2012.02.07, 0930



Date: 2012-08-20 02:33 am (UTC)
a_stands_for: A (Default)
From: [personal profile] a_stands_for
AHAHAHA, oh man, this was hilarious. XD I love the SCP universe, and this was an excellent crossover!

Date: 2012-08-23 01:06 am (UTC)
cypher: (hate me because I'm beautiful)
From: [personal profile] cypher
hah! what a brilliant concept for the crossover -- I love the scraps-of-records format, and the idea of locking kismeses together this closely is delightful. The arguing! So good.

Date: 2012-08-23 04:21 am (UTC)
lionpyh: A glass liquor bottle with a panther shape molded into the glass. (Default)
From: [personal profile] lionpyh
This made me laugh aloud in several places. They are terrible. They are great. The deadpan maintenance of the SCP format was a pleasure.


HSO 2012 Collab Round Sector 1

August 2012

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